Monday, April 25, 2005

Sometime back, a person made a comment on me that I generally try a bit too hard and push things to happen rather than waiting for them to happen!

Well, is that wrong - in trying to make things better rather than waiting for them to better automatically?

My stance at this is - "People say Time is the best healer, it's the best medicine and therapy to make life better and happier! Well people, look closely - its you who has to work, its you who has to put in effort - time just passes to make common man neglect this hidden truth!"

Anyhow, why do I try so hard! I try hard because I love certain things, and I dont want to loose somethings which otherwise would be lost if I let the time rule and take its course!

But most of the people I care for, don't get my idea! It's actually ok.. everyone's free to have his/her own opinion, and in that course you are bound to loose certain things and relations at the cost of new ones!

Friends understand this!

How muchever it may hurt, but that's a fact!

Just by stopping to believe in fact and by not acknowledging its presence, doesn't make it disappear! Facts remain there and they hurt! And who else, better than me can know this!

This is life!


Srinivas said...

This is a classic case in relationships - whatever it might be. Usually a relationship is about 2 people walking a bridge and meeting mid-way. But in some cases, when one of them is not ready to go the full distance, the other will have to walk that much further to make up for the other person. This is what causes all sorts of clashes - one might feel that they're doing more than they're supposed, to keep the relationship going.
Even I'm known to try too hard... Its hard for other people to understand dude... Some people can even find it plain irritating and say rash things... Just a pity that not many people understand the rationale behind it... (sigh)

Keshav said...

Dude.. the problem is when you are ready to walk up the extra distance and yet not complain, then why the other party reserves the feelings.

You say you want the bridge to stay, the communication to be there, and yet not even try a small part.
And that hurts!

Keshav said...

I sometimes pity myself for being so emotional!

But as someone once advised me never to change whatever happens, I can't help but get hurt when misunderstood! And I get misunderstood everytime I open my mouth!!

Srinivas said...

You know - both of us seem to have somethings in common. The thing you said abt getting misunderstood almost everytime - man! how many times has that happened with me in the recent past.
Believe me - there's always a limit to how long one can tolerate being misunderstood. In the beginning, it just seems to get into a loop - being misunderstood, trying to resolve the misunderstanding, getting more misunderstood than before, on and on and on... Then comes a time when one gets totally frustrated and throws the caring nature out of the window - become a "whatever fuck happens, i don't care" sorts. I probably am getting there.
Just my advice - just do whatever you feel like - you know, if you feel angry or frustrated, express it... don't bottle down.

Keshav said...

I understand your frustration pal!

Even I have been through that phase many a times in almost all my cherished relations.

But sooner or later you would realise that its your inherent nature to care for people and to love them. And the very thought of loosing such cherished relations makes me feel week within!

But I still don't understand why conflicting ideologies become a bottleneck in relations of any sort? They should well infact complement and complete others' personality and give a wider view of life!

The root cause for such feelings in our case is that we both are way too emotional and sensitive.

Both must learn to be practical, yet not loose on this sensivity!

Srinivas said...

yea - its the practicality part that tells me not to care a damn when others don't understand me at all! and the sensitive part secretly hurts deep within that brings along the helpless feeling that one can't set things right...

thing is - people change over time... though one might not change drastically so as to throw away their inherent nature, they do change and sometimes change in ways that can hurt others. reactions can vary widely from trying harder to set it right to turing a cold eye to it... i am caught in between - sometimes i want to set it right and other times i don't seem to care...
yea - key is just to let yourself go and do what you like in these situations :-)

Keshav said...

Srinivas - "its the practicality part that tells me not to care a damn when others don't understand me at all! "

That's the result of an immature and impulsive thinking. Even I was standing there, where you are today!

But the thing is you must be practical in the sense, that you acknowledge that we cannot force others to care for us if we care for them.

It's only human to feel hurt by that, but we can't change the way others feel.

When people care for someone too much, then they try to make the person do things the way they feel right! And if the other doesnot reciprocate, then it hurts them.
The key to happiness is to still love them and care the very same way, but don't expect them to get governed by your ideologies.

But still... it hurts a hell lot to follow this principle.

Srinivas said...

Yes - it sure does! :-(