Tuesday, February 01, 2005

A week has passed!

Sigh!

A week has passed since something happened! It has been a real long week. An extremely difficult one and painful too. I am pretty disoriented for my ownself and by my own standards.

But not for once have allowed this to get reflected on my social behaviour when I meet people.

I sometimes feel that I should stop writing these feelings on a public domain. But what the heck! This is my personal space meant for me to shed all my frustrations when I can no longer share it with anyone. And I cannot lie to my own self. And in some ways it's good that people who care for me, get the message. And it relieves me.

....

Haven't got any work since last morning! With absolutely no work, I have tried all possible sites of interest to pass time. Explored Orkut to the maximum. hunted a few sites to collect info regarding MBA... But still mind doesnot find solace.

I discovered that I have been totally expelled from somebody's life, even the small bonds and mutual trust that existed have been broken. I have been denied any possible entry from any side. There are certain things that you do..not because you want to infringe upon someone's privacy, but because that's the only way left for you to be a part of their life without affecting them.

Well.. that is fine with me. But I dont have to change my feelings or give up my hopes, I just have to respect the feelings of people I care for.

If one week has been so bad, I seriously doubt my capabilities to handle it on a long run!

Sometimes I wonder how extreme boredom catalyses negative thinking!

6 comments:

Srinivas said...

seems like we're going thru the same phase...
"I wonder how extreme boredom catalyses negative thinking!"
that's so damn true... thats why i've heard people tell me to keep myself occupied, even if its mindless activity...
cheer up buddy...

Keshav said...

Thanks for the concerns pal! But sometimes trying hard is not enough! The harder you try and tougher it becomes.

Srinivas said...

perhaps thats the cue for us to sit back and let things take their own course... at least for sometime... i think it works... try it...

Keshav said...

I cant help it dude! Its something so special and means so so much to me, that I cant help being desperate.

But I still am trying!

Srinivas said...

I don't know about the special thing you're talking abt... But,yeah - everyone would have that special element in their lives, which when taken away or which eludes us so much, drives us to the edge of insanity or utter disregard to our own lives... That's why its best to just "go with the flow" for sometime, and give ourselves some time to get back up on our feet. Trying harder won't help much. Just hang in there and do things that make you feel better...

Keshav said...

Point taken pal! And I see it working!
Actually realized that my approach was wrong, sometimes doing nothing about things help, because you actually cant do much! :)