Thursday, January 20, 2005


Met someone really special yesterday! Someone who is probably the most important...
I am so dissapointed with things...I actually had to fight to get to meet her for a longer period..

And as usual.. I screwed things up.. Why do I get upset so fast... may be because I really care for her.. I have gone mad...a bit too possesive...

If ever that person happens to read this...I am sincerely sorry for everything I ever did! I am an asshole...totally ashamed of myself! I am suffering!

I must do what she wants in general she is always right! I blindly trust would blindly believe in whatever she says...

But is it right? I should not blindly trust anyone in this world! And I have my reasons for that too.... Got the biggest shock that people whom you trust actually make fool of your trust and faith... how easliy they lie and prove it..but they might be having their own reasons to hide facts... may be for my betterment only!
But still... one knot in mind is enough to provoke more such feelings of doubt even if it is not the case.


I have noticed people thinking that I am a total jobless fucker... they assume that they get paid for work and I (or rather those who are puntual) eat shit and have all the time in the world. If I come on time it is my joblessness seems coming late is too cool and happening... for others its work.

It really upsets me.. and I just cant help getting irritated! I know I cannot change them, and should not either..because I am no one to interfere in their I myself dont take anybody interfering in my life.. But to avoid them totally is in my control...atleast that way I wont get upset and upset them too! Afterall i have to get rid of my anger!

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