Limitations of Reasoning

This is something I had to post. I have been procrastinating for so long, now no more.

Most of my family members, a few very close friends, and some acquaintances feel I am an atheist. Let me clarify - I AM NOT.

I do not go to temples that often - the last I went was exactly one year back, I do not do the regular pooja at home, I do not chant the slokas, I do not explicitly bow infront of God's idol. But does that make me an atheist?

I am spiritual - not religious. Is that a crime? I don't claim that there is no super power, just that the idea of Gods is a bit vague for me. Being a Science student, I can't take absurd beliefs. If not everything, most of the things are explainable by logic - and I feel even the unexplained ones can be, we need to think hard. Afterall every thing was once unexplained.

I am by nature very argumentative - to the extent of getting itchy to others. People say that I must fear God, must not abuse Him or His powers, for it's because of Him that I am here. All I say to such hypocrites is that if God exists, then by their own faith He must be knowing and seeing every small thing I do or feel or think. He then must be knowing what I feel inside me - he must be aware of my skepticism. And if so, then where is the question of being afraid and the fear of getting misunderstood? Do I have to be accountable to other's faith?

Faith and Logic are two different things. I believe everything is explainable by logic. Faith as I see it, is the channel for humans to appreciate the beauty of this perfect architecture - we call life, to get lost in the awe of the splendid balance that nature has, and above everything else, it's a secret way to let us be ourselves - the small, helpless, innocent beings that we actually are - and all this without giving our inner sense a hint that we feel defeated and can't see the beauty or the variety that life has to offer at the moment.

Even I have felt defeated - many a times in past, and like any normal human have had my roots in faith shaken - but that's the beauty of it.

Some people say God has planned everything for us and whatever happens is happening for our benefit - Isn't this Science? All this just makes my belief that life is like a multithreaded program stronger.

I do not go to temples, but I do bow to the power of nature secretly. I do not do pooja, but I accept the prasad with full respect - I respect the faith that others have - Sometimes it's this faith that does miracles(and I feel, even this should be explainable). I might not keep fasts, but I take care not to hurt my family's feelings by eating non-vegetarian food. I no longer wear the sacred thread that I once used to (not because I lost faith - I never had any! It broke and I never had an extra!) - but I remember and can explain the sacred mantra my Guru taught me.

I love the life I have got, I love the education I have got - and that compels me to argue, to reason. My faith tells me to respect others faith, but my logic asks me to doubt and discuss the faith!

To me being a theist is to respect my own faith, others' faith, and acknowledge the magic of logic. As long as I don't mock others' belief, as long as I have *faith* in my *logic* - I believe in God - but I don't fear Him.