Monday, April 18, 2005


Gawd.. I am on such a high!

Lost in past, yearing for the golden days to come back and never go again, wishing that Time Machine could be a reality that I could just go back in time and live in the perfect world I had with friends all around!!

Last Saturday, I happened to come across this book named "FIVE POINT SOMEONE" (thanks to Kannu!)

And since then I am lost! Since Saturday night I have read that book twice, with a few chapters as many as five to six times!

Anyone who ever had this chance to live in hostel can really die for the book!

Well, I can go on narrating incidents in my hostel life which actually have been told in the book, there are so many fucking idiots that I know of to relate to the characters in the book..

Ryan.. just like Nitin.. always in hunt for excuses to escape syudies, Venkat.. just like Shankar always studious, Alok.. just like Amit, plump and round.. eat anything in sight!!

Those long sessions by Goenka about all the unknown and weird fundas of sex at the weiredst hours in night!

The Jayram dhaba or Nazir's bakery just like Sassi's corner. The Aayingar bakery jsut like that Ice Cream Parlour, the terrace of our hostel just like the isti terrace!

Fuck..its so nostalgic!!

I think I can write almost a hundred blogs just on narrating and correlating our hostel stay with the book's narration!

But to start with I have this funny memory of my first day at hostel and my first experience at ragging to share with all!

It was 16th Oct, 2000 around 11 a.m, I guess when we had just come to hostel and had been alloted room number 29.. a dark, scary, cold and smelly room to live! (Smelly because the toilet was just there!! And bastards in hostels never flush!!)

My room partner Ravi was my friend for last 8 years .. my classmate and a dear friend! So we didn't need to introduce each other, and thus decided to get to know our immediate neighbours - Nishant( a strong built sweet chap like our Karthik -- the Tweety!) and Mrinal( an insomniac with a pair of glasses which made his eyes look atleast twice their original!).

So, we were just getting to know each other in my room that bang.. a group of 11 devils enter the room! Almost 8 of them were from 3rd semester -- just entered the puberty of seniorhood -- and hence were overly excited! The rest 3 were those typical 4 year bastards we had imagined --( given they were from the BU batch most were like uncles!)

And before even we could introduce ourselves to our neighbours, we were asked to give the Ramaiah introduction to the seniors! Me, as it is am an asshole who cannot stop laughing in just situations, and I actually dared doing that then.. thought may be a cute smile can help me out!! But no.. destiny had something worse for me!

The 4th year granddads got upset and they asked me my frequency!
Frequency! What the hell is frequency!! And I am not a twining fork that I would have a frequency! And I just said that -- and it upset them even more!

The rest is history and really embarrassing to tell, but still.. it doesn't matter any more!

They cleared by doubts about what frequency meant and then I realised that shagging has a synonym called frequncy! I already was terrified by that time and thought since I have actually upset them, telling them the truth (not that I am telling anyone!) might just make the matters worse and I might actually be asked to do the practicals!

And there came my brave reply "I dont shag!".. And the room went out bursting in laughter! Even this bastard friend of mine - Ravi was laughing his guts out!! And that really made me feel worse!

Leaving me to my state, they asked the other three and they promptly disclosed their secrets! Then came the funny part!!

Mrinal as he claimed had the highest frequency and the largest wavelength! (Balls -- I seriously doubt if he had any wavelength at all, but so he claimed!). And he was assigned the responsibility to teach me how to master the art! And he actually did that! He told me like an ideal teacher how to initiate the thoughts, about what all to think, how to delicately handle the proceedings and how finally excel it!

Satisfied that I had been taught beautifully, they asked me to do the practicals! Don't panic! Not the actual practicals, just with a prototype -- a tube of toothpaste! (Yucks -- I was so grossed out I threw that tube later and still avoid that brand!). So, there I was .. standing with the tube.. positioning it strategically like a gun, and vigourly repeating the sequence mechanically till they couldnot take any more laughing! It was the longest 30 minutes I ever spent! My hands were sore! (Just imagining 30 minutes for that stunt in practical makes me faint!!).

Satisfied with me.. they turned towards the others.. Nishant was asked to keep on abusing the fan till it stopped, and he kept on ranting these weirdest absuses with full zeal! Mrinal in the mean time was asked to say 10 lines of praise for Red roses .. not aware of the insult coming on, he also thought this was the easiest he could get away with.. and proudly told the ten lines. Then came the twist in the tale, when he was suddenly asked to replace roses with his black ass! His face at that moment was the best thing I had seen that day! Poor chap was the best time pass stuff for all the seniors.. once later.. he was made Superman of the hostel.. had been forced to wear his Red unfortunate undies over his trousers, with his white stinking socks as gloves and was made to run the corridors of hostel singing the trademark superman dialouge -- "UP UP and AWAY!!"

Meanwhile my room mate was getting interviewed about his interests by the other set.. and he was happily telling them how he enjoyed reading english novels and watchnig english movies.. and sometimes porn too!

Then suddenly this bastard who till that time was enjoying me shag, turned his attention towards him. I have to admit, he was really innovative! He suddenly asked Ravi to lay down on his bed and act as if he is in labor and is about to give birth to a child! And he lay there on his bed, acting the scene with passion for next 40 minutes, crying and howling like actually in labor until after those 40 minutes of pain, Nishant - the doctor could manage to pull this baby out of God know's where!!

Almost all the four of us were fucked till then, and these bastards had their share of little fun with us by that time!

Thankfully they were satisfied with our performances and the show was over. Later in the night we were given a treat by the same bastards, who in course of time became one of the most loved seniors we had!

College was fun -- I will continue with more such stories in near future!

I still am lost in nostalgia!

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