Saturday, March 24, 2007

The battle of equals.

My office moved to its new building in Hebbal last week. It is a very nice campus with loads of state of the art facilities.

Though the building is spacious and has modern architecture, it still has its set of flaws. To begin with, the cubicles are very small; so small that if you possess a dog's smelling sense like me, you can distinctly figure out who has bathed and who gave it a miss. The separation-walls of the cubicles are made of glass, so there is no privacy. All the cubicles are interconnected with just one exit. So in effect one has to cut across many cubicles to get out and in the process disturb others and get noticed and frowned upon, if going home early.

But overall, I like it.

But it is not the new campus I want to talk about today. If you happen to be frequently traveling on Ring Road near the Hebbal-Nagwara junction, you surely would have come across my subject often and would have your own stories to tell, unless of course, you are far more scarier in your external appearances than them.

I'm talking about the great nuisances called eunuchs!

That area seems to be flooded with them. They are every where. They harass travelers at the traffic signals and if you happen to be a bit 'chikna' you are surely going to get molested. I have had my share of light experiences with them in past, a few of them memorably funny. But it is a different thing if you are caught alone surrounded by a gang of them early in morning every day on your way to office.

Trust me, you'd be grossed out if you have them touch you everywhere. All you'll care for that time is to get rid of them as soon as possible, unless you are a really shameless funny guy who does not mind getting his body felt by them. This reminds me of this train journey I took with my friends in college. It was seven of us happily enjoying the long journey busy joking and playing cards when this group of 3 eunuchs got into our compartment demanding money from every male in the compartment. I often have wondered why it is that women get away so easily. They are rarely harassed by them.

Anyways, I should not digress. So, these three came to our seats too. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I get really petrified to see them, given the fact that I'm a little 'chikna' as one friend of mine commented. So, i gave them a 10/- note to save myself from the embarrassment, but it did not help much as by then I already had got a few compliments from them. Statements like "Kya Aamir Khan, kitna chikna hai re" are fun to hear now but were really embarrassing then. To top that they were pulling my cheek as if I was a 5 year old kid. I somehow got rid of them by shifting my seat next to the window, and then the fun began.

My other six friends refused to pay a penny. They were terribly upset by the fact that I paid them so easily and they were adamant that since one in the group paid, it suffices. And then started this verbal abuse session where these three were pitched against the six of my friends. All sorts of "Aamir Khans", "Salman Khans" and "Kader Khans" were used, but my friends were not to be moved. They finally decided to let these three continue while they carried on with their card game.

One of the three was really upset at this tiny 5 feet meek friend of mine for his formidable resistance and threatened to grope him if he did not pay them 10 rupees. This tiny friend decided that it was his day to put up a brave front and he said they were welcome to go on and grope him if they wished. And to everyone's surprise he did!

Everyone was horrified and disgusted at the sight of this giant 6 feet eunuch grabbing the crotch of this tiny 5 feet idiot. But not my friend! He was totally unfazed with a halo of calm on his face busy playing the game. The eunuch tried to embarrass him by sitting next to him and singing a few abusive songs. By this time everyone was relaxed and actually enjoying the show. Everyone in the compartment and every onlooker stood there to see who would win the battle. But it was my friend's day. It appeared that he too was enjoying it. He even demanded the eunuchs to sing a few of his favourite songs and they happily obliged with the hand of this chap always firmly grabbing my friend's private.

The show went on for at least half an hour, and then the eunuchs started to lose patience. Their leader probably had some business sense; he figured out that they were merely wasting time and entertaining the compartment for free. Finally they gave up. The leader was really impressed with my friend's performance and offered him a 10 rupee note as appreciation and even made an offer to join their gang which this friend courteously refused. He clearly had won, and having won this appreciation he was very moved. He finally budged and obliged them by giving a 50 rupee note.

Finally the show ended happily.

I had great fun.


RK said...

I noticed that 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves', has had its impact here. You used a semicolon! Bravo! I don't believe I have ever used a semicolon before. (blush)

My humble suggestions:
a) 5-year-old kid, no 's'.
b) I often have wondered why it is that women get away so easily. OR
Why is it that women get away so easily?

To answer your qns- Women are not harrassed by eunuchs because, there are too many men in line waiting to harrass the ladies. The Eunuchs would have a long wait ahead of them. [:D]

Seriously though, I feel, that since they are assuming the identity of the feminine gender, it would not do to harrass other members of it.

Men should experience this to understand what most women encounter, at the hands of various freaks and jerks, everyday.

Keshav said...

Error rectified.

I didn't use semicolon as an after effect of reading that book. I do use them sometimes, but I feel its usage is wrong in most cases - even here. :D
But I now try to use 'its' correctly.

"Seriously though, I feel, that since they are assuming the identity of the feminine gender, it would not do to harass other members of it." - And we talk of gender equality. :P

Perhaps my logic does not apply here. After all we are not so sure of their gender. Are we? :D

anup said...

is this whole extravaganza of a post just a disguised gloat about you being a "chikna"