Wednesday, June 21, 2006


It's quite ironical the way I crib! When I work, I crib for some free time to relax, and then when I get it, boredom due to inactivity takes its toll. Such repetitive are my antics that now it's become a predictable pattern. Very much like a girl's PMS, if I may call it so! :)

The last couple of weeks at work have been the most turbulent professionaly. First, a blunder of being a little casual about a job done, or rather overconfidence about it's simplicity landed me in deep trouble. Any professional thrashing for inefficiency is acceptable to me, but being myself, I associate a lot of pride in the work I do! And if, someone doubts my competency, it's the biggest insult to me. And my complacency about a really trivial thing fetched me such a remark. It was painful. Thankfully, I have proven this doubt wrong by doing a lot of other things after this episode, but the pain remains, and so remains this lesson embedded in my mind!

The second highlight was being able to finish a job in time, which had made me loose my sleep for quite some time. One gets a lot of pride and sense of achievement by being able to accomplish something, which your peers assume is undoable under the circumstances. I did one such thing and I am really satisfied. The joy in manifolded as it comes at a time when I badly needed to prove my competency.

I haven't yet been able to get acclimatised to the work culture here. Deep down, I am not happy for the lack of vibrancy this place has. To add to my woes, I do not admire the working style of my immediate colleagues. Occasional fun at work is a welcome change, but when it becomes a habit, it must be curbed. Noticing certain teammates hunting for frantic excuses to avoid work, coming up with inexplicable and ridiculous reasons about their behaviour, while me working my ass off is quite frustrating and generates a lot of negativity. The team is totally disoriented, and the bosses aren't bothered a bit. Inculcating accountibilty and seriousness in my team must be their priority, else I must confess, some of my colleagues must be shown the door.

Anyways, I must not bother myself too much with these issues, as I can't do much albeit I crib regularly.

Having a bike is so much freedom. The long countryside or highway rides with cool wind blowing into my hair is no more just dreams. It's a reality and I'm relishing every moment of my dream come true. I just love wandering aimlessly. :)

I have noticed that if I try, I can curtail my spending habits. I must work a bit harder though. Again, the bike saves me a lot of money which I earlier used to waste on Autos.

There is a certain thing which has been bothering my conscience for quite some time now. I have given in to the temptation a few times to get into something I do not aprreciate or want. And that disappoints me terribly, as I see myself in the mirror as a hypocrite. Knowing that the done cant be undone, I can only take reslove to avoid these things in future. I make myself a promise that it would not happen again.

I guess three long weeks deprived of movies is surely a torture that I have been giving myself, I must watch one today. That way, I would not have time to crib and can get some peace of mind! :)

I see that this blog is again one of those random jottings I normally write when bored beyond death. I do not like myself being this predictable! :D

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